


To Obtain Power

by fauxman



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuuin no Tsurugi | Fire Emblem: Binding Blade
Genre: Crying, Exhaustion, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 08:43:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17957297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauxman/pseuds/fauxman
Summary: Set some time after Raigh leaves the Orphanage under the idea that he does not immediately pretend to be an Etrurian Soldier. A telling of his first casting of dark magic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This contains references to other games pertaining to my interpretations of dark magic in Fire Emblem.

Raigh had already lost track of time. How many nights it had been. How long he's been on his own.  
  
He was unprepared. Unprepared for what the world could throw at him. Starvation. Dehydration. Rain. Danger. Infection. Exhaustion. This is what his recklessness had brought him.

But this wasn't the worst of it, not to him. People looked at him cross, as if he were evil. They saw his dark robes, dirty and tattered, and assumed the worst. Loneliness hurt more than anything else.  
  
_"What is a child doing wearing that?"_ _  
_ _"Don't come near me!"_ _  
"Horrible creature!"_  
 _"You scare me!"_

  
And you know?

_‘Maybe they're right,_ ’ he thought to himself.   
  
He had resorted to begging and stealing, oftentimes from these very people. Even if it meant his survival, even if it meant taking from people who had wronged him, he couldn't bear the guilt that came with it. It reminded him of how everything had been taken from him.

_‘How does Chad live with himself?’  
_

Hunger, thirst, pain, and sickness are all temporary. All can be alleviated. But the images of people sneering at him, the sound of wicked comments, and the feeling that comes with them are permanent. They stick with Raigh until he carries them to the grave.

If only any of them knew, even the smallest amount of what Raigh experienced. Both of his parents died when Raigh was young. His new fathers at the orphanage took care of him well, but he rarely got along with the other orphans. As they grew older, Raigh grew more scornful and solitary. He felt pushed away by the others. It got to the point where he felt as if he couldn't trust his own twin brother.  
  
And that's when he watched the orphanage burn to cinders, along with his new fathers.   
  
He couldn't let it happen to anyone else.

He felt powerless. Everyone who cared about him was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. The people still around didn't want him around. But he couldn't lose anyone else, especially not his annoying siblings. So he ran away, in search of dark power, leaving nothing more than a goodbye note behind, with barely a promise of return.

If only Raigh new how devastated everyone was, how devastated Lugh was.  
  
_‘They'll never understand why I left,’_ he always thought to myself. _‘They're probably glad I'm not there anymore.’_

And he was right. They didn't understand. Under those circumstances, everyone knows that death is certain. They didn’t understand why Raigh would recklessly risk his life for a risky power. But they knew what it meant to mourn.  
  
Lugh never stopped crying, not even to sleep.

_‘He's gone too…’_ were the words running through his head. _"He wanted to get away from us… from me. We pushed him away… and now he’s gone. Why does he feel the need to do this for us? Does he think we’re too weak? Does he think that lowly of us?’_

Chad could only provide so much comfort. Being the oldest child, he felt a responsibility to the others, but Lugh was also his closest friend. They never left each others' sides; their desire for revenge against Bern growing along with their sorrows.

None of this mattered to Raigh. Even if he knew, he wouldn't believe it, nor would he understand.  
  
_‘Nothing matters unless I succeed.’_   
  
Perhaps the people had a point in calling him evil. But perhaps they meant selfish instead.

Raigh was aware of how much he risked his life, but he had no care.  
  
_‘I either succeed, or I fail. And if I fail, I die... and if I die... my worries die with me.’_   
  
He even resorted to sneaking around with bandits. Whether they noticed or not, he never knew.

He just knew that he still lives, endlessly away from reaching his goal.


	2. Chapter 2

Raigh found himself under a forest of trees, the evening soon approaching. He knew the dangers of traveling at night: lack of sight, getting lost, wild animals, bandit attacks, but he chose to travel later in the day regardless. Less people to worry about. Less people seeing him tap into the forbidden arts.

Coming across a Flux tome was not an easy task. But as destiny would have it, he managed to take one from the vendor unnoticed. Just holding the book alone was enough for him to feel energy emanating from the pages. But he could waste no time in awe; the sun would be setting soon, and he had a tome to read. Exhilarated, he sits under a tree and got to work.

...  
  
Raigh remembers everything he had heard about dark magic, or "Elder" magic, as it should be called.

 _‘You must invite the dark forces within you.’_ _  
_ _‘You must not let yourself succumb to the darkness.’_   
‘You must offer your soul to a spirit.’  
  
And that's exactly what Raigh fights with. He doesn’t want to give himself up to obtain his power. He wants power for himself. He doesn’t want it for, or from, something that wasn’t himself. Each time he comes close to casting, he was overtaken, a voice playing in his head, and his body resisting it. Whether it is a spirit, the darkness itself, or his own mind talking to him through his doubts, he doesn’t know.

Night had fallen, and Raigh's energy is completely depleted, but he could not let his training end prematurely. He stands, breathes in, hands in front of him, fingertips touching, and begins reciting the ancient tongue he read in the book. He begins to pull his hands apart. As the sparks forms and the orb grows, the feeling of being overtaken returns. He stops moving, fighting the power, as the voice calling to him returns.  
  
_"You wish to learn the powers of ancient magic?"_  
"I do..."  
_"Is it too difficult for you?"_  
"..."

The power holds Raigh’s arms from separating any further. The orb was like an invitation to the power; the more it grows, the more it spills into you. And this is the source of Raigh’s dilemma. He knows he had to cast Flux on his own, and the darkness prevents him from doing so. The further he progresses, the more darkness he invites into himself, but letting go means immediately giving the darkness full control.

 _"How badly do you want this power?"_  
"..."  
_"Hahaha! Just give in to the darkness! You're nothing but a little boy! Without giving in, you'll never learn this power!"  
_ "..."  
_"You’re a weakling! You can’t protect anyone! That’s why you chose to run away!"  
_ "That's not true..."  
  
Raigh collapses his hands back together, condensing the orb with it, breathing even heavier now. His hands fall to his knees and he slouches, breathing heavily. Eventually, he falls back, sitting down with his back against a tree.  
  
He begins to doubt himself.  
_‘I can't do this,’_ he says to himself. _‘What if none of this is worth it? What if Lugh winds up dying anyway? What if I can’t protect him?’_

He begins to curl up and cry, sorrows adding to tiredness.

_‘Everyone is right about me. I'm evil, selfish, and worthless. I abandoned my brother. I deserve to die out here, alone. I'm sorry... Lugh.’_

The looks of peoples’ glares run through his head. The sounds of them scorning and outcasting him play and he tightens up even more. He feels disgusting, covered in sweat, dirt, and tears, wearing ragged robes that rarely receive a wash.  
_‘No one will miss me.’_  
He gasps for air, fist clenching his chest as it tightens.  
_‘No one misses me. They’re glad I’m gone.’_  
But then he remembers the fires. The screams. The cries for help. How much Lugh cried. And how he never wants it to happen again.

He picks his head up, grabs the tome, and stands back up.  
_‘You can't make up for your mistakes when you're dead. And I can't protect those dear to me when I'm dead.’_  
Despite having spent more than all of his stamina, Raigh knows he must cast this spell.

He takes his stance, another breath, fingertips together. He begins to pull apart. The familiar purple shine and sparks return, along with the overcoming voice.

 _"I knew it wouldn't be long. You can't resist this power."_  
Raigh keeps breathing deeply, trying to pull his arms apart more.  
_"It doesn't matter how you obtain this power, you'll still save your family all the same. Don't you want to spare yourself the trouble?"_

Another tear drops from his eye, but he remains focused.  
_"They would be more than relieved to see you return now than not at all."_  
"That... is a lie," Raigh says in his mind. "Lugh would rather see me as myself than a shell. I'd rather see him again as myself than a shell. I... miss him and his company, and I'm not ruining any chance of being able to truly protect him by obtaining a false power and giving up my being."  
Raigh's pride and determination manage to overcome his sorrows. "I know the risks of dark- no, Elder magic. And I will learn its power by any means necessary. But I will not give up on myself, or my family! I wish to obtain power to protect those dear to me and destroy all who oppose me. That is the power I seek, and I will obtain that power myself, for myself. I will not succumb-"

As he thinks his last words, his arms pull further apart, the orb between them expanding. He feels its full energy, complete in its formation. He walks around, holding the orb in front of his face, in awe of what he holds. And that's when he realizes - the voice is gone, and nothing hinders his movement.

The energy he feels holding the orb differs from the overtaking one he felt earlier. This one feels… _alive_ . _Radiant. Natural._ His mouth agape and eyes wide at the revelation, he nearly forgets to speak the last words of the spell. As he makes a throwing motion with his arms, the orb sinks into the ground and shoots back up a short distance ahead, exploding into dazzling purple smoke and sparks.

 _“I... did it… and I'm free…"_  
Even though it was a beginner’s task, Raigh already feels as if he held all of the power in the universe, power he had reached on his own.

He collapses, falling on his hands and knees, finally feeling the effects of spending all of his energy.

He crawls back to a tree, laying back on it. He notices, now, a glow purple coming from his book. Opening it up, the glowing text reads:  
"Only those with serious dedication to the ancient arts may truly use this power." The glowing letters fly off of the page, turning gold as they do.  
Amazed at his own accomplishment, he wants to try more. Though he is reckless, he isn't stupid, and he isn't going to empty his tome trying to learn how to cast.

Dropping the book on the ground and looking up past the foliage, he faces up towards the sky, feeling lost in the world of the starlight, something he had always found comfort in. His eyes then shift towards the full moon.

 _‘I know you're looking at it too, Lugh. I'll be back, but not today. I still have much to learn. I made a promise to you, and I’m not going back on it.’_  
As he closes his eyes, he hears shifting noises. He doesn't jump, but turns to face them.  
A cat stands motionless, probably surprised that Raigh noticed it.

 _‘A small cat, all the way out here?’_ Surprisingly, Raigh had never come close to another cat before, never having the opportunity. He remembers the rumors he heard about cats: that they're mean, boring, unloving creatures, and relates them to himself. He sticks his arm out, welcoming the cat to sniff his hand.

The cat sniffs, and then rubs its face against Raigh's hand, moving to his arms and legs.  
"Hey, come here little guy." He invites the cat into his lap, petting it from head to tail. The cat purrs loudly, rubbing against Raigh's hand, and happily closing his eyes. As the cat settles in his lap, Raigh focuses on the purring, and the sound of owls hooting and the occasional bat wing flaps. He lets out small chuckles as he watched the cat look around and swat at seemingly random stuff. As they lock eyes, the cat gave Raigh a long, slow blink, a gesture that Raigh returned. He manages to smile, feeling genuinely warm. He looks back up at the stars and moon, mind finally relaxed and at peace.  
_‘I can finally... do what I need to do…’_

As he falls asleep, he feels comfort in the night's embrace.


End file.
